Category: 1990s


I know you
I know you’ve seen her
She’s a sad tomato
She’s three miles of bad road
Walking down the street
Will I never meet her?
She’s a real woman-child
Oh my kiss breath turpentine

I am smitten
I’m the real thing (I’m the real thing)
Have you seen her come around?
My crush with eyeliner

I’m in like
I’m infatuated
It’s all too much pressure
She’s all that I can take
What position should I wear?
Cop an attitude? (You faker)
How can I convince her? (Faker)
That I’m invented, too, yeah

I am smitten
I’m the real thing (I’m the real thing)
We all invent ourselves
And you know me

She’s a sad tomato
She’s three miles of bad road
She’s her own invention (She’s her own invention)
That gets me in the throat
What can I make myself be?
Life is strange, yeah (Life is strange)
What can I make myself be? (Fake her)
To make her mine?

I am smitten
I’ll do anything (I’ll do anything)
A kiss breath turpentine
My crush with eyeliner

I am smitten
You know me (Yeah, you know me)
I could be your Frankenstein
My crush with eyeliner

I am smitten
I’m the real thing (I’m the real thing)
Won’t you be my valentine?
My crush with eyeliner

Artist: R.E.M.
Album: Monster
Release Date: 1994

For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot
On the whatnot, near the ‘atstand in the ‘all
It didn’t seem to grow ’til one day our brother Joe
Had a notion that he’d make it strong and tall

So he’s crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree
And he’s planted it against the garden wall
It shot up like a rocket, ’til it’s nearly reached the sky
It’s the biggest aspidistra in the world
We couldn’t see the top of it, it got so bloomin’ high
It’s the biggest aspidistra in the world

When father’s had a snoot full at his pub, ‘The Bunch of Grapes’
He doesn’t go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes
No, you’ll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes
Off the biggest aspidistra in the world

We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade
So they put the water rates up half a crown
The roots stuff up the drains, grow along the country lanes
And they came up half a mile outside the town

Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house
But a jealous rival went and burnt it down
The tom cats and their mogies love to spend their evenings out
Up the biggest aspidistra in the world
They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout
From the biggest aspidistra in the world

The dogs all come around for miles, a lovely sight to see
They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee
So I’ve had to put a notice up to say it’s not a tree
It’s the biggest aspidistra in the world

Artist: Gracie Fields
Album: There’ll Always Be an England [Recording Arts]
Release Date: 1992 [1938]

(Spoken)
Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American dream.
About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub cockle
area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the
colon, we don’t know.

(Sung)
I’m just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I’m your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I’ve got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, I’ve gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.

I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s the world’s biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong
NAAAAH!

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)

(Spoken)
Know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
hot-fuckin’-pink, with whale skin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big
brown baby seal eyes for headlights… yeah! And I’m gonna drive around in
that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin’ down
quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald’s in the old-fashioned non-
biodegradable Styrofoam containers… yeah! And when I’m done suckin’ down
those grease ball burgers I’m gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the
side, and there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why?
Because we got the bombs, that’s why… yeah! Two words–nuclear fuckin’
weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy
they want…they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of
Tiananmen Square and it won’t make a lick of fuckin’ difference, because we got
the bombs, OK? John Wayne’s not dead–he’s frozen! And when we find a cure for
cancer, we’re gonna thaw out the Duke and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off. You
know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million
times–that’s how pissed off the Duke’s gonna be. I’m gonna get the Duke and
John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin’ whisky and drive…

(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?)

Why don’t you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the
asshole… all the time it was him… what an asshole!

(Sung)
I’m an asshole (I’m an asshole, he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s the world’s biggest asshole)
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo

(Spoken)
I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it!

(Chris mouths: Asshole

Artist: Denise Leary
Album: No Cure For Cancer
Release Date: 1992

MB: We Only Live to Kiss Your Ass!
Butler: Kiss it? We’ll even wipe it for you!**

MB: From here on in it’s easy street!
Peter: Any bars on that street?**
Butler: 24 happy hours a day.**
Peter: Oh Boy!**

MB: We’ll stop Jehovah’s at the gate!
Guard: May I see that pamphlet, sir?**
*Slap*
Peter: My God, This house is freakin’ sweet!

Chef 1: I make brunch, Clive cooks lunch,
Chef 1 & 2: Each and Everyday!
Chef 3: Chocolate Cake, a la Blake!
Peter: 100 bucks, Blake is gay!

MB: We’ll do the best we can with Meg!
Meg: Are you saying I’m ugly?**
Maid: It doesn’t matter, dear, your rich now!**

MB: We’ll do your nails and rub your feet!
Lois: Oh, that’s not nessa- Oh My!**

MB: We’ll do your homework every night!
Chris: It’s really hard!**
Butler: That’s why we got that Steven Hawking guy.**
Peter: My God, This house is freakin’ sweet!

Used to pass lots of gas!
Lois ran away!
Now we’ve got 30 rooms!
Hello beans! Goodbye spray!

MB: We’d take a bullet just for you!
Stewie: Oh what a coincidence, I’ve got one!**
Lois: Stewie!**
MB: Prepare to suck that golden teat!
Now that you’re stinking rich,
We’ll gladly be your bitch!

Peter: My God, This house is…

MB and Peter: Freakin’ Swee~eet!
MB: Welcome!**

Maid: That’s a wrap people, now lets get the hell outta here!

Peter: Hey! Wait a second! Where ya going?

Maid: The old bag only paid us up through the song.

Lois: Well, we can just pick up after ourselves.
After all well just be here on the weekends…

Peter: No, no Lois! It’s time you start living like the
piece of Schmidt you are!

Lois: That’s PewterSchmidt…

Peter: W- Wait! You guys, You guys! Your all hired to be full time
Griffin servants!

Lois: Peter, Where are we going to get the money
to pay all these people?

Peter: Simple… I… uh… sold our house in Quahog
Lois: You sold our home?!?

Peter: Surprise!

Lois: Peter, how could you?!?

Peter: Whoops…

Peter: I recognize that tone!
Tonight, I sleep alone!
But still this…

MB and Peter: house is freakin’ swee~eet!

Family Guy
1999

Saint Joe he said he’s never been
Dressed up like a woman
Saint Joe they said your dad is gay
They said your mom
She’s a whore
They said it ’til you
Were raw
They said your mom
She’s a bore
They made her beg
Them for more

My Aunt Mary
Aunt Mary
Aunt Mary says
They have the darkness there in their eyes

Saint Joe he said he’s never been made
Up like a woman
Saint Joe the time is coming when…

When Mary never will return
When Mary never will come back here…
Yeah Mary never will return

O’ Mary please
Come home
O’ my aunt Mary
Aunt Mary
Aunt Mary says they have
The darkness there in their eyes

My Aunt Mary
Aunt Mary
Aunt Mary says
They have the darkness there in their eyes

O’ my aunt Mary
Aunt Mary
Aunt Mary says they have the darkness there
They have the family disease
They have the darkness there in their minds

Artist: Marcy Playground
Album: Marcy Playground
Release Date: 1997

Ancient walls of flowers tumblin’ down
Black cat petals and a smiling clown
I like to keep them in
A jar beside
Just enough to mess my mind inside
But I never heard you callin’ from the sun
Did you ever care to shoot your silver gun
No I never heard you callin’ from the moon
Did you ever care to sing your free love tune

Ancient walls of whispers falling low
Murmur simmer and I’m feeling slow
Keep me up but keep me in my head
I’ll ping a pound of posies ’til I’m dead
But I never heard you callin’ from the sun
Did you ever care to shoot your silver gun
No I never heard you callin’ from the moon
Did you ever care to sing your free love tune

Ancient walls of flowers tumblin’ down
Ancient walls of flowers tumblin’ down
Ancient walls of whispers tumblin’ down
Ancient walls are tumblin’ all over this town

Artist: Marcy Playground
Album: Marcy Playground
Release Date: 1997

Today is the greatest
Day I’ve ever known
Can’t live for tomorrow,
Tomorrow’s much too long
I’ll burn my eyes out
Before I get out

I wanted more
Than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore
Of saving face

Today is the greatest
Day I’ve never known
Can’t wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I’ll tear my heart out
Before I get out

Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings

Today is
Today is
Today is
The greatest day

I want to turn you on
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you

Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever really known

Artist: Smashing Pumpkins
Album: Siamese Dream
Release Date: 1993

You say I only hear what I want to.
You say I talk so all the time so.

And I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don’t belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong ’cause I missed you.
Yeah yeah, I missed you.

And you say I only hear what I want to:
I don’t listen hard,
don’t pay attention to the distance that you’re running
to anyone, anywhere,
I don’t understand if you really care,
I’m only hearing negative: no, no, no.

So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
lover’s in love, and the other’s run away,
lover is crying ’cause the other won’t stay.

Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
Well, well, this is not that;
I think that I’m throwing, but I’m thrown.

And I thought I’d live forever, but now I’m not so sure. You try to tell me that I’m clever,
but that won’t take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.

You said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, ’cause I missed you.
Yeah, I missed you.

You said you caught me cause u want me and one day you’ll let me go.
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me ’cause you know you’re just scared to lose.
And you say, "Stay."

And you say I only hear what I want to.

Artist: Lisa Loeb
Album: Tails
Release Date: 1995

I want you to know, that I’m happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother

‘Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you’d hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you’re still alive

And I’m here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

I’m here to remind you
of the mess you left when you went away
it’s not fair to deny me
of the cross i bear that you gave to me
You, you, you ought to know
you, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I’m not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

‘Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn’t able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you’d hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you’re still alive

And I’m here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

‘Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I’m not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back
I hope you feel it…well can you feel it

And I’m here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Artist: Alanis Morissette
Album: Jagged Little Pill
Release Date: 1995

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me-a gon blame
A licky boom-boom down
‘tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

Police-a them-a they come and-a they blow down me door
One him come crawl through through my window
So they put me in the back the car at the station
From that point on I reach my destination
Well the destination reached in down-a East detention
Where they whip down me pants look up me bottom

You know say daddy me snow me-a gon blame
A licky boom-boom down
‘Tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

Bigger they are they think they have more power
There on the phone me say that on hour
Me for want to use it once and-a me call me lover
Lover who me callin’-a the one Tammy
And me love her in my heart down to my belly-a
Yes say Daddy Me Snow me I feel cool and deadly
Yes the one MC Shan and the one Daddy Snow
Together we-a love ’em as a tornado

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me-a gon blame
A licky boom-boom down
‘Tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

Listen to me ya better listen for me now
Listen to me ya better listen for me now
When-a me rock-a the microphone, me rock on steady-a
Yes-a Daddy Me Snow me are the article don
But the in an a-out, a dance an they say, "Where ya come from?"
People them say I come from Jamaica
But me born and raised (in the ghetto) I want ya to know-a
Pure black people man thats all I man know
Yeah me shoes are-a tear up an-a my toes used to show-a
Where me-a born in-a the one Toronto

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me-a gon blame
A licky boom-boom down
‘Tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

Come with a nice young lady
Intelligent, yes she gentle and irie
Everywhere me go me never let’ her at all-ie
Yes-a Daddy Snow me are the roam dance man-a
Roam between-a dancin’ in-a in-a nation-a
You never know say Daddy Me Snow me are the boom shakata
Me never lay-a down flat in-a one cardboard box-a
Yes-a Daddy Me Snow me-a go reachin’ out da top

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me-a gon blame
A licky boom-boom down
‘Tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

Why would he? (repeat)

MC Shan:

Me sittin round cool with my dibby dibby girl
Police knock my door, link up my pal
Rough me up and I cant do a thing
Pick up my line when my telephone ring
Take me to the station, black up my hands
Trail me down ’cause I’m hangin with the Snowman
What an I gonna do, I’m backed and I’m trapped
Smack me in my face, took all of my gap
They have no clues and they wanna get warmer
But Shan won’t turn informer

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me-a gon blame
A licky boom-boom down
‘Tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

Artist: Snow
Album: 12 Inches Of Snow
Release Date: 1992