This is a factual letter from Hawaii
The names of the spots have been changed
to protect the locals

"Howzit Brudah?"

Peter and I went out to Hana Bay last Wednesday
It was a perfect six foot down the line and really crowded
I went out at Sugar Shack which was five foot and semi-closing out
It was fun, a little better and faster than the first day we went out,
but definitely not as juicy as the last.
Longboard Larry and Amazing Mike padded out: the sets were okay,
but it was a long time between waves

Three days ago was the biggest swell of the year
Animal and I drove out to Hana Bay, but it was twenty-foot and unridable
(white water everywhere) We drove back to Cracks and it was five to six
with three guys out. They paddled in and I talked to them.
In the morning they said it was three foot. When I first got there it was
five to six foot.

J.P. drove up and we both decided to go out and we both saw an eight
to ten foot wave break across the bay, and we started paddling out when we saw
an easily ten foot wave break across the channel. While waiting for a set of at least
six waves to stop, I started getting sucked out to the point on the right in a river riptide.
I paddled back to the beach realizing that it was peaking or still getting bigger. J.P. paddled
out, caught two waves, and came back in, as it was too freaky, and hard to line up with nobody out.

About an hour later it got really crowded and cleaned up a bit. Jerry Mopehead went out so I took
pictures of him and Max and a lot of other "hotties" One guy got washed up… on the rocks below me.
He was lucky. At least the rip didn’t drag him out to sea. Cords were useless: they snapped like peanut

I heard the second ditch at the Ammunition Dump was good on Sunday. Also that the left near the sewage
treatment plant, which rarely breaks, was good.

Well, that’s enough news for now. Gotta get back in the water.

P.S. Don’t come over here.

(I wonder why he said that?)

Artist: The Surf Punks
Album: My Beach
Release Date: 1980