Maybe, just maybe
Naughty girls need love too

I’ve been told time and time again
That you can’t treat love like a game
But I play rough with hearts that never mend
‘Cause some guys like you do the same
Love was just a four-letter word
Never heard, how absurd, how could it be
But now I can’t believe this is real
How I feel, now you steal my heart away from me

Used to be so good and so bad
Sex was something I just had
Used to always know what to do
Now you’ve got me confused

Baby don’t let me be misunderstood
Temporary love’s so bad, but it feels so good
Then along came you, now I know it’s true
Naughty girls need love…too

Then came you
Then came you

Yes it’s true, I’m in love with you
And believe it baby, this time your love won’t get away
Stay here, in the place to be – we can get busy my way
For six forevers and a day-ay-ay
Ooh, it’s only you I adore
So much more then my body was asking for
Yes, your love is breaking my chill
Even still, there’s a thrill in my heart

Samantha Fox was such a wild dame, huh, but what’s in a name
(S-S-Samantha S-S-S-S-Samantha Fox!)
No more fun and games of the mind – let’s get busy 1 time

Whoah!

So moving like you’re forty
This groove is much too naughty
Can’t you see, I want you just for me
Boys, make some noise
Girl, I want to shower you with diamonds and…
Please don’t tease, if you lie my heart will freeze
Freeze, freeze, freeze, freeze, freeze, freeze, freeze…

Artist: Samantha Fox
Album: Samantha Fox
Release Date: 1987

I know you
I know you’ve seen her
She’s a sad tomato
She’s three miles of bad road
Walking down the street
Will I never meet her?
She’s a real woman-child
Oh my kiss breath turpentine

I am smitten
I’m the real thing (I’m the real thing)
Have you seen her come around?
My crush with eyeliner

I’m in like
I’m infatuated
It’s all too much pressure
She’s all that I can take
What position should I wear?
Cop an attitude? (You faker)
How can I convince her? (Faker)
That I’m invented, too, yeah

I am smitten
I’m the real thing (I’m the real thing)
We all invent ourselves
And you know me

She’s a sad tomato
She’s three miles of bad road
She’s her own invention (She’s her own invention)
That gets me in the throat
What can I make myself be?
Life is strange, yeah (Life is strange)
What can I make myself be? (Fake her)
To make her mine?

I am smitten
I’ll do anything (I’ll do anything)
A kiss breath turpentine
My crush with eyeliner

I am smitten
You know me (Yeah, you know me)
I could be your Frankenstein
My crush with eyeliner

I am smitten
I’m the real thing (I’m the real thing)
Won’t you be my valentine?
My crush with eyeliner

Artist: R.E.M.
Album: Monster
Release Date: 1994

Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you
honey?
Now would I say something that wasn’t true?
I’m asking you
sugar
would I lie to you?

My friends know what’s in store
I won’t be here anymore.
I’ve packed my bags
I’ve cleaned the floor

Watch we walkin’
walkin’ out the door.

Believe me
I’ll make it
make it

Believe me
I’ll make it
make it.
Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you
honey? . . .

Tell you straight
no intervention

to your face
no deception.
You’re the biggest fake
that much is true

Had all I can take
now I’m leaving you.
Believe me
I’ll make it
make it
oh yes
I will

Believe me
I’ll make it
make it.
Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you
honey? . . .

Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you
honey? . ..
My friends know what’s in store
I won’t be here anymore. . . .
Believe me
watch me
watch me –
Believe me
watch me
watch me.
Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you? Would I lie to you?

Artist: The Eurythmics
Album: Be Yourself Tonight
Release Date: 1985

Bravely bold Sir Robin
Rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid
To be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared
To be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out,
And his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split
And his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled
Brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in
And his heart cut out
And his liver removed
And his bowls unplugged
And his nostrils raped
And his bottom burnt off
And his penis split and his…

"That’s… that’s enough music for now lads…" 

Brave Sir Robin ran away.
("No!")
Bravely ran away away.
("I didn’t!")
When danger reared it’s ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
("No!")
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
("I didn’t!")
And gallantly he chickened out.

Bravely taking ("I never did!") to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat.
("All lies!")
Bravest of the braaaave, Sir Robin!
("I never!")

Artist: Monty Python
Album: Monty Python And The Holy Grail OST
Release Date: 1975

For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot
On the whatnot, near the ‘atstand in the ‘all
It didn’t seem to grow ’til one day our brother Joe
Had a notion that he’d make it strong and tall

So he’s crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree
And he’s planted it against the garden wall
It shot up like a rocket, ’til it’s nearly reached the sky
It’s the biggest aspidistra in the world
We couldn’t see the top of it, it got so bloomin’ high
It’s the biggest aspidistra in the world

When father’s had a snoot full at his pub, ‘The Bunch of Grapes’
He doesn’t go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes
No, you’ll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes
Off the biggest aspidistra in the world

We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade
So they put the water rates up half a crown
The roots stuff up the drains, grow along the country lanes
And they came up half a mile outside the town

Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house
But a jealous rival went and burnt it down
The tom cats and their mogies love to spend their evenings out
Up the biggest aspidistra in the world
They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout
From the biggest aspidistra in the world

The dogs all come around for miles, a lovely sight to see
They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee
So I’ve had to put a notice up to say it’s not a tree
It’s the biggest aspidistra in the world

Artist: Gracie Fields
Album: There’ll Always Be an England [Recording Arts]
Release Date: 1992 [1938]

Breaking my back just to know your name
Seventeen tracks and I’ve had it with this game
I’m breaking my back just to know your name
But heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Anything goes but don’t blink you might miss
Cause heaven ain’t close in a place like this
I said heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I’d let a rumor ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential

Ready? Let’s roll onto something new
Taking its toll and I’m leaving without you
I’m ready, let’s roll onto something new

‘Cause heaven ain’t close in a place like this
I said heaven ain’t close in a place like this
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight
Never thought I’d let a rumor ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
A rushin’, a rushin’ around

Pace yourself for me
I said maybe baby please
But I just don’t know now
When all I wanna do is try

Somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
A rushin’, a rushin’ around

Somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
A rushin’, a rushin’ around

Somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It’s not confidential
I’ve got potential
A rushin’, a rushin’ around

Artist: The Killers
Album: Hot Fuss
Release Date: 2004

When I look out my window,
many sights to see.
And when I look in my window,
so many different people to be.
That its strange.
So strange.

You got to pick up every stitch.
You got to pick up every stitch.
You got to pick up every stitch.

Must be the season of the witch,
must be the season of the witch, yeah,
must be the season of the witch.

When I look over my shoulder,
what do you think I see?
Summer kept lookin’ over his shoulder at me.
And he’s strange,
sure is strange.

You got to pick up every stitch,
you got to pick up every stitch, yeah.
Beatniks are out to make it rich.
Oh no
Must be the season of the witch,
must be the season of the witch, yeah,
must be the season of the witch.

You got to pick up every stitch,
the rabbits runnin’ in the ditch.
Beatniks are out to make it rich.
Oh no
Must be the season of the witch,
must be the season of the witch,
must be the season of the witch.

When I look out my window,
what do you think I see?
And when I look in my window,
so many different people to be.
Its strange,
sure is strange.

You got to pick up every stitch,
you got to pick up every stitch,
two rabbits runnin’ in the ditch.
Oh no
Must be the season of the witch,
must be the season of the witch, yeah,
must be the season of the witch.

Artist: Donovan
Album: Sunshine Superman
Release Date: 1966

One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fire was burning
Down the track came a hobo hiking and he said boys I’m not turning
I’m headin’ for a land that’s far away beside the crystal fountains
So come with me we’ll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there’s a land that’s fair and bright
Where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the boxcars are all empty and the sun shines every day
On the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees
Where the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs
The farmer’s trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay
Oh, I’m bound to go where there ain’t no snow
Where the rain don’t fall and the wind don’t blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind
There’s a lake of stew and of whiskey too
You can paddle all around ‘em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain’t no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I’m a goin’ to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

I’ll see you all this coming Fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Artist: Tex Ritter
Album: An American Legend
Release Date: 1973

Mommy’s little monster dropped out of school
mommy’s little monster broke all the rules
He loves to go out drinking with the boys
He loves to go out and make some noise
He doesn’t wanna be doctor
or a lawyer gettin’ fat and rich
He’s 20 years old and he’s quit his job
Unemployment pays his rent

His brothers and sisters have tasted sweet success
His parents condemn him say his life’s a mess

He’s mommy’s little monster
He’s not afraid to admit
Mommy’s little monster don’t wake him in a fit

Mommy’s little monster shoots Methadrine
Mommy’s little monster had sex at 15
She left home for the streets
She couldn’t deal with all the heat
She has fun with the boys in the band
in her eyes it’ll never end
Her dad asked what happened to her face
It could have happened at any place

Her eyes are a deeper blue
She likes her hair that color too
She can even wear a dress
But that doesn’t mean she’ll ever confess

She mommy’s little monster
She mommy’s little monster
She mommy’s little monster
Don’t take her life away

Her eyes are a deeper blue
She likes her hair that color too
She can even wear a dress
But that doesn’t mean she’ll ever confess

She mommy’s little monster
She mommy’s little monster
She mommy’s little monster
Don’t take her life away

She mommy’s little monster
She mommy’s little monster
She mommy’s little monster
Don’t take her life away

Artist: Social Distortion
Album: Mommy’s Little Monster
Release Date: 1983

(Spoken)
Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American dream.
About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub cockle
area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the
colon, we don’t know.

(Sung)
I’m just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I’m your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I’ve got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, I’ve gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.

I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s the world’s biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong
NAAAAH!

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)

(Spoken)
Know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
hot-fuckin’-pink, with whale skin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big
brown baby seal eyes for headlights… yeah! And I’m gonna drive around in
that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin’ down
quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald’s in the old-fashioned non-
biodegradable Styrofoam containers… yeah! And when I’m done suckin’ down
those grease ball burgers I’m gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the
side, and there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why?
Because we got the bombs, that’s why… yeah! Two words–nuclear fuckin’
weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy
they want…they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of
Tiananmen Square and it won’t make a lick of fuckin’ difference, because we got
the bombs, OK? John Wayne’s not dead–he’s frozen! And when we find a cure for
cancer, we’re gonna thaw out the Duke and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off. You
know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million
times–that’s how pissed off the Duke’s gonna be. I’m gonna get the Duke and
John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin’ whisky and drive…

(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?)

Why don’t you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the
asshole… all the time it was him… what an asshole!

(Sung)
I’m an asshole (I’m an asshole, he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s the world’s biggest asshole)
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo

(Spoken)
I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it!

(Chris mouths: Asshole

Artist: Denise Leary
Album: No Cure For Cancer
Release Date: 1992